वो

वो भी जिसपे बस चलता है , बस उसी पे चला कर खुश है
रात को दिन, दिन को रात बना कर खुश है
मूर्तियों में पाँव पसार बैठा है शायद
मन के सूखे फूल में पर खुशबू है नदारद
उलझती सुलझती राह में साथ देने तो आ
कभी साथ मेरे मुस्कुराने तो आ

कच्चे पक्के से, सपने थे सादे
फिर बड़-बोले गीतों में याद करने के वादे
मुझे फिर अपने होने पर ही शक हो गया
मेरा तो होना ही ज़र्रे भर भी नहीं
मुझको बस तू है , तुझको बस मैं ही तो नहीं

अध-खुले रोशनदान से छन कर आती रोशिनी में
महसूस तो किया तुझको
निहारना भर दूभर था उस नरम किरण को
इस तरह तेरी असीम ताकत का अंदाज़ा लगाया मैंने
आँख की पुतली में आ कर चिपक गया चौन्धियारा
अब चाहे बंद हो या खुली पलकें , मुझे तेरा रोशनारा

तुझ तक कभी तो पहुँच जाऊँगी मैं भी
बेपरवाह सी रात बिताउंगी मैं भी
मेरे एक कनेर के फूल पर तू गौर फरमाएगा
मेरा गीत फिर होगा जग-ज़ाहिर
फिर यूँ ही खुश हुई, की कभी तो सुनेगा ही..
सबकी सुनता है आखिर !! 

A book and a fairy tale :)

I love reading. I love books. I love the kind of peace these books makes to flow from them and touches the innermost membrane of the heart and brain.
They takes me back to the all-so-happy-and-gay-no tension-zone of my life. Back to that deserted, small and once-a-mystery room of the roofy area of that huge house of my granny's.. Books takes me back to the time when unlike all other children of my age , i used to spend the sunny afternoons of my summer vacations in the quest of the keys of that exceptionally huge lock , hanging from the door of the mystery room and challenging me to solve the locking capabilities it posses right from it birth.. Birth (of this giant thing!) which i guess must be way back in the time when i would have been in my previous birth and would be some freaking old man (man not woman because in this birth also i do not much like the womanly traits..and i think there were all possibilities for me to be a man in this birth as well but may be on the spot Shivji decided to make things a challenge for me and converted me into a woman..!) in his 60s..
Anyways , then after the hardwork and toil of few of alone and tiresome.., full of perspiration-afternoons i used to find the keys in some very unexpected and intelligent corners of the roofy area and smirk over the not-so-successful tries of granny !
All i wanted to happen was just to go and melt into the heaps of books in that mystery room. the smell of the new books and the yellowness of the big , fat books , color of the little and skinny children books .. every shade of the books seduced me to roam around in the waxed-hot sun to make my way to the mystery room. Even today the only thought of this takes me back to the golden days of life.., when only challenge was to search the keys and only desire was to enter into that mystery room somehow and dig myself deep into the book shelves for hours and hours and hours :) :) :)

Books are magicians. Thy can pull you out of your space and take you to their world. A world talking about endless stories , people, lifestyle, happiness, pain, agony, endless emotions, about rivers stretched to limits, mountains standing dauntlessly , about the womb of ocean, and a roving albatross, ancient rituals, airs of a culture, heaven-like beauty of an unknown places, fables of reckless warriors , beauty of a bewitching princess, meadows of Vegas, windmills of holland, about a distant village , sometimes about a contemporary city and it's incredible and outlandish technology , talking about art of living,  about relationships, wisdom, power, solving queries of life , enlightening the mind and the soul.
Growing up is audacious and sometimes painful.., but books can soft-pedal it to some extent. They can pull you out of your own imperfections to sometimes a world of all optimism and positiveness and sometimes to someone's world of comparatively more imperfections making you realize that your pain wasn't that awful..!
Books are capable enough to makes me sit stupidly and draw a stretch called smile or sometimes flood my tear glands.. For me books are like theatre on paper.., every character taking shape , delivering dialogue in full fancy and glory !! 

Once i read the story of cindrella. How she lead a life full of affliction and austerity, how her foster mom treated her and finally how she got to meet a fairy and how it proved to be a stitch in time and then a happy ending of the story with the togetherness of a charming prince and all the "smiles" a "slippers of glass" ; rather a costly, vivid and dazzling glass.! (amazing fashion sense though but it must be uncomfortable as well but girls are girls , and can swallow any pain to look fetching..! )
I also wish to encounter a fairy someday then. A fairy who will make me sharp enough to solve the maths problems in a speck of sec, will make me capable enough to complete all the homeworks and exam-learnings in an instant so that i will be having nough tim to get back to my all time favorite "bag" ; reading more and more books, telling me more and more stories, taking me to the roller coaster of wonders and unknown , inexact lands. But..., it never happened ; TRUST ME.., i really desired gravely. Asked every single person i knew till that year of my life , my dady, my mom, my brother (though i knew that he is 2 years younger to me and is dumb in my comparison ; atleast he was at that time !!.., but to my chivalry and generosity i never under-estimate anybody and so i never did this time as well !! ), my cousin and best friend of the time , besides all the fights we had over the issues like cheating in the game of chupan-chupai and steppu. She was an year old to me so i expected her to know for sure but always i found her least interested in listening to my questions and more engrossed in her stupid "ghar-ghar" game and cooking useless , illusory food over an artificial , fanciful stove , that i never even wanted to smell but always praised as i liked her.. :) She always teemed with me in her "ghar-ghar family".., tolerating all the all the criticism and sideswipe from me even when all those games were a serious pursuit for her!!

SO finally i understood that nobody knows about fairies and nobody ever saw them.. it was pretty heart-breaking and melancholy occasion !! I waited for long but no fairy came to see me and finally one fin day i realised that why it was happening to me?!?
Obviously because i wasn't a dove in the thunderstorm like cindrella ! Neither i was doomd to wear weary cloths like her nor i had a foster mom... i never came up against a situation , full of misery and muddle. i was able to have my favorite milk whenever i desire. I was no skeleton like her as my mami cooked delicious, on-demand food for me..
So that's why no fairy would ever come to see me.., and the very thought mad m so sad that the pain is unaccountable..!! 
Besides all the goodness in life.., i actually developed a fancy for a life like cindrella.., just for being expedient to meet a fairy.. but today when i contemplate into the lake of memories, i realise how real, simple, lucid, divine, naive , soo much half-baked, bit of gullible, and careless  wishes those were..! 

Now i wish not to see any fairy ever. All the hardships, perils and crunch of life makes m realize that how babyish and callow those wishes used to be! I don't want to be a cindrella anymore..

बूंदे

कांच पर खरौंदे बनती बूँदें
हर बार की कोशिश , बार बार की कोशिश
फिसलती, संभलती
यहाँ - वहाँ भागती ,
फिर उस पार से झाँकती ,
बदहवास बूँदें ।।



बेपहरी नींद से जागती बूँदें ,
खुदी में मेरे अक्स को बांधती बूँदें
हिल मिल कर सफ़र नापती बूँदें ,
टपक कर आसरे से ख़ाक में दफ़न होना है
ये नायाब बसीरत बाँटती बूँदें ।।

पतंग

मैं  एक पतंग हूँ
    रंगों की कमी नहीं मुझको
मेरे आसमां की मैं उमंग हूँ
     मैं एक पतंग हूँ ।



इस हवा से गहरा नाता है मेरा ,
कभी शत्रु कभी मित्र का रूप रख आती है,
पर जब ये नहीं आती है … तब मेरी ही कीमत
नहीं किसी ने आंकी है ।

एक  मासूम खिलखिलाहट का मैं संग हूँ,
मैं एक पतंग हूँ ।

रण-क्षेत्र में ,प्रतिद्वंदियों से जो भिड जाऊं,

 अंदाज़ा भी नहीं लगा सकते तुम मेरी गति का ,

अपन साथ बांध कर उडती हूँ मैं ,

किसी की मदमस्त  आकांशाओ की लतिका । 

किसी कुंठित मन में उठती मैं जीत की तरंग हूँ । 

मैं एक पतंग हूँ । 

मेरी आज़ादी की मिसाल देते लोग,

पर डोर किसी और के हाथ,

वो मेरे "मार्ग-दर्शक" कहलाते हैं  

मैं राह भटक न जाऊं कहीं ,

ये कह कर मेरे मन को बहलाते हैं । 

किसी आज़ादी के लिए छिड़ी मैं एक जंग हूँ । 

मैं एक पतंग हूँ । 

पूरा आसमां मैं नाप लेना चाहती हूँ ,

हवाई बाँध तोड़ कर,

अपनी  राह की स्वामिनी जो बन गई मैं भी,

तो मरे हुनर की पताका भी लहराएगी कभी । 

सच कहूँ तो तुम्हार ही मन का मैं कोई अंग हूँ । 

मैं एक पतंग हूँ । ।